it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
