dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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