Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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