You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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