I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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