1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
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in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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