Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
