The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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