So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
