shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You're breaking my sexual little heart
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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