shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I want a musical about memes.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
