3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
