hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
