You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
