party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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