yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
