Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
