i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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