Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
