Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
where does the pee come out of this thing
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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