I am puke
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
