Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
