When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
