I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
