Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
