He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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