thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
