He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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