loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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