omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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