margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
