if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
