he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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