Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
