I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
