god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
