she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
