Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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