I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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