Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
