Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
