did you get engaged???
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize