he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
