Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
