I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
