i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
