How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
