It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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