I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
actually, I'm a sock model
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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