uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
