3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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