Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Are we still banned from the library?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
