I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
