I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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