those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
