Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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