You just made me feel so damn special
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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