thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
