the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
