I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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