This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
