I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i think im in europe. pls send help
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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